Obvious signs of Vampire infiltration of the South Korean populace

Today, in a grocery store, I finally put the pieces together and felt like a dummy for not seeing it earlier. Korea has a huge number of vampires and they have infiltrated the government to hide the fact.  It’s so obvious!

Was this a documentary?


1) In most of eastern Asia, there is a common implement that would be a useful tool for defense against vampires.  Here it…exists, but is belittled and few homes have them in handy locations.  I am talking about wooden chopsticks.  Wooden chopsticks can be found here but everyone extolls the virtues of metal chopsticks.  Government and university officials claim they improve computer game, archery and experimental manipulation skills and even connect metal chopsticks to holding the Olympics here.  They are also useless against vampires.  Not a coincidence.

1b) In a similar way, young students are weaned away from wood-framed pencils and to mechanical pencils as quickly as possible.  Even when the mechanical pencils suck and mainly seem to be used in class to explain why students haven’t started the assignments.

2) The Korean burkha and super expensive sunblock.  Why is sunblock so expensive in Korea?  Because it is strong enough to protect even vampires!  For extra cautious Korean vampires, wearing head-to-toe clothing everywhere, even swimming and hiking has become a cultural norm.

3) Constant application of make up to appear life-like.  Notice how many Korean women are reapplying make up in public places?  They have to to remain life-like.

There is at least one confounding variable.  Kimchi contains a lot of garlic.  It is so much a part of Korean culture that even the secret vampire conspiracy cannot decrease it’s prevalence.  Wait, perhaps this is why Chinese kimchi has received a bad rap: is it even more potent garlic-wise?


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: